G.R.A.C.E.
I think this must be my theme for 2012. In everything I am reading and learning, God has been revealing to me His grace in a very real and personal way. Having been a child of God for most of my life, you would think I would have a complete understanding of this word. I am so thankful for the recent reminders that all of life is grace, not just something extended to us at the point of salvation. I need grace each moment of my life and He lavishly pours it out on me. I regret the years I have lived taking for granted His outpouring of daily grace. I am learning and growing in a much deeper understanding of His grace recently and it has been such a blessing!
While on bed rest in January, my sister-in-law recommended to me a book by Emily Freeman, Grace for the Good Girl: Letting go of the Try-hard Life WOW, what a great book! I could totally relate to the good girl label. After all, I am the missionary and pastor's wife, right? Freeman reveals how as women we can easily mask our true selves behind this persona of what others expect us to be or of what we want them to think of us. How when we do that we are not free as we should be in Christ.
I think having the profile of the pastor's wife sets me specifically up to come across as being put together, always the giver of encouragement, wise council etc. -- when in reality I feel anything but that most of the time. I did not realize the deep rooted problems this can cause in being able to relate to others and more importantly living freely as to who I am in Christ. At one point in our ministry, Jonathan admitted to being tired and was rebuked by a national partner. That experience has only driven me to convey that everything is always fine, but it has really inhibited us to feel free to be honest and open in relationships. I want to strip those masks that I have put on without even realizing it. I want to be free to expose the messy, so that others may see HIS grace and not me and my efforts. I told Jonathan this book was just "hitting me while I was down", while physically weak, God used this book to convict and encourage me. So glad I read it and for the hope found in the truths of God's word and the focus on grace that Emily so well communicated to the reader.
The first section of the book, "The Hiding", talks about the different types of masks we wear. Masks of responsibility, strength, spiritual disciplines, acts of service and good performance, always showing that everything is fine etc. The second section of the book, "The Finding", delves into what it looks like to find ourselves in Christ - when we take off our masks and rest in Him. The third section talks about the freedom of being found in Christ. Of being safe in His arms, even when life hurts. Each of us are able to live loving God and receiving God's love and not constantly hiding behind the "good girl" mask.
After each chapter there are reflection/discussion questions. At the end there is a study guide for small groups. This would be a great book for such a setting.
I was deeply challenged by this book and have been blessed also by Emily's blog, Chatting at the Sky. This will have to be a book I reread in a couple of months. There has been so much I have been trying to process and realize that as I write this post about a book I read a month ago, I am already in need of a refresher!
P.S. If you follow the above link to the book, it is currently on sale for $5. A super great deal--so go get it ladies!!